Billy Said What?

I have kept track of some of the things my 9 children have said to me over the years. Billy was born 1957: Bill, Rick, Tom, 1959
_____Date_____ They Said What?
Age 3
March 1, 1960 Billy dumped two boxes of laundry soap all over the basement floor and then proceeded to pour water from the water heater all over the soap. Ugh.
March 20, 1960 Ricky was trying to force open the door into his room which was being barred by his daddy. TJ and Billy finally decided it was useless and called Debbie over and said, "Cry, Debbie, so Daddy will open the door"
December 20, 1960 Billy informed me the Christmas tree was melting. (The needles were falling off.)
Age 4
March 9, 1961 Billy said the reason he and Ricky were going down to Grandma's is because I was going to the hospital to get a new baby again. I guess he figures that is a yearly event with me. . . but this time it was not so.
April 25, 1961 Billy asked me when I was going to go to get a new baby. I asked why and he said, "Cause we need some more new babies. . . all we have are Becky, Teri and Debbie."
Age 5
November 2, 1962 Billy came in to the kitchen to inform me he didn't have any more long sleeve pants to wear because they were all in the laundry.
November 11, 1962 Bill came stomping in so disgusted because 'Miss Virginia' on TV didn't see him in her magic mirrow and didn't even say his name! He said, "She didn't see me and I was standing right in front of the TV"!
January 10, 1963 Billy asked me how he was going to get out of the ground when he died because he will be all covered over with dirt and God is in heaven in the sky and not in the ground.
Age 6
January 24, 1963 Billy asked me how old I would be next year and I jokingly said '99'. He said, "Oh, I didn't know that was a real number. Ricky told me there was a '99' and I didn't believe him, but you will be 99 next year so it is real". After supper Billy told the boys I would be 99 next year and Ricky said, "Oh, Bill, Mom isn't that old and besides if she was, she would have more children".
October 10, 1963 Billy asked if Uncle Bob Dierkes was a Catholic and I said he was and then Billy said, "Oh, no wonder he's so nice. Catholics are supposed to be nice you know".
November 1, 1963 I asked Billy if he would forget his mama after he married because so many boys do. He quickly assured me he wouldn't and added hesitantly, "If you don't move, I mean". (Have you forgotten me yet, Bill? We have moved so many times since that date in 1963 and so have you.)
November 2, 1963 I was helping Billy examine his conscience at bedtime and asked, "Did I disobey my parents?" Billy said he didn't know. Then I said, "Billy, concentrate on how many times I disobeyed my parents every day when I was little". He answered very impatiently, "Well, I don't know. . . I wasn't born when you were little".
November 22, 1963 TJ and Bill brought their two best cars to Tom to keep to make him feel better while he is ill with a cold which he has had all week.
November 30, 1963 I was encouraging Ricky to eat his spinach without sugar and to offer it up for his Dad who is now in the hospital. He did, but shortly afterwards Bill excused himself from the table and said he was not going to eat anymore supper and was offering it for his Daddy. (Actually, he was leaving his spinach which he detests in the first place so not much of a sacrifice.)
Age 7
March 9, 1964 After reading a story to the children about a little lady saying three Hail Mary's morning and evening and then giving them to Mary in an imaginary box for Mary's birthday Bill decided he would do likewise. He said he would stick his head in a box and say a Hail Mary, pull his head out and close the lid quickly before the Hail Mary got out"!
March 8, 1964 The boys were discussing Uncle Alfred's upcoming visit next Saturday and TJ was wondering what time he would arrive. I told him probably Saturday morning. Bill, in all seriousness said, "If he is coming in his ole truck he had better start right now",
June 13, 1966 Bill said he had indigestion in his nose. He meant a congested nose.
Age 11
July 5, 1968 Tom said we should have Tim's tonsils removed because he has so many ear and throat infections. I told Tom "they" do not remove tonsils like they used to. Bill immediately piped up with "Well, how do they take them out now?"
July 8, 1968 Tom has been treating the children to day old donuts this summer. Driving past a donut shop on 23rd Strret Robin Tuttle commented on how delicious their donuts are. Bill chimed in with "Oh, do they make day old donuts there, too?"
August 4,1968 Removing a bar of soap from the bathroom stool I figured baby Timmy had dropped it in accidentially and went on my merry way. Next day Bill and I were in the bathroom at the same time. Bill pointed to a bar of soap and said, "That's toilet soap." I paused, then asked if he had put soap in the stool yesterday and he said, "Yes, because the wrapper said toilet soap, so I put it in the stool." He then asked if I hadn't wanted it in the stool yet or what? I then attempted to explain about the wording, etc.
Age 16
December 1973 Bill was in the admitting room at St. Joseph's Hospital for his neck surgery and held David's blanket while I went out in the hall to check on Rick and Dave. When I returned Bill said a lady had come over and asked him what he was doing with the baby blanket and he told her it was his security blanket and she believed him.!

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