TJ Said What?

I have kept track of some of the things my 9 children have said to me over the years. TJ was born 1954:
_____Date_____ They Said What?
1 9 5 9
Age 5
October 10, 1959 TJ asked if we would all be dead at the end of the pages on the calendar since there were no more pages.
October 1959 TJ said he was sick. I asked him why and he said because we must not be real because how could God make Himself and us, too.
November 4, 1959 TJ looked at the 3 Magi and asked which of the three kings is going to kill all the baby kings in the neighborhood.
November 1959 TJ was tying a string around Rick's head and Ricky said, "Mommie, he's killing my brains!"
November, 1959 After watching the "Hunchback of Notre Dame" and seeing a man declare he bathed daily to live longer TJ said, "Grandpa McClintic should bathe daily and he might live even 50 years longer". Grandpa was then 68 and lived to be 86. TJ, do you realize my dad was only two years older than I am when you said that? Holy cow!!!
1 9 6 0
January 25, 1960 TJ said Grandpa McClintic is using his 7th skin now and it's old and the toughest and will last a long time. (Maybe he is getting this idea because Grandpa is losing the pigment in his skin it looks very white and new.)
Age 6
February 28,1960 Tj said, "Mommie, please get some Playtex gloves so you can have pretty hands." Pays to advertise on TV I am thinking.
March 1, 1960 After having to give TJ an enema he wanted me to be sure and wipe all of the gasoline (vaseline) off of his bottom.
March 4, 1960 TJ said when a Mommie goes to the hospital and gets a new baby, well, if she decided she wanted twins a nurse would go in and pull out a drawer full of babies and give her one.
February 2, 1960 Missed the mailman and sent TJ to catch him in below freezing weather disregarding his "But, Mommie. . . " He returned and then I noticed he had no shoes on and that is what he was trying to tell me. No after effects, thanks be to God.
March 2, 1960 TJ asked if I knew why bull dogs have hungry cheeks that hang way down. Of course I didn't know, so he proceeded to tell me it is because they get in fights with baby bulls and the bull's little horns come off and they get stuck in the dog's mouth and are so heavy they make the dog's cheeks fall down. Well, how about that!
March 3, 1960 TJ was telling me that sometimes just water runs out of his nose and that's to save his blood so it won't go to waste. (He is forever having nosebleeds.)
March 20, 1960 Ricky was trying to force open the door into his room which was being barred by his daddy. TJ and Billy finally decided it was useless and called Debbie over and said, "Cry, Debbie, so Daddy will open the door"
March 24, 1960 TJ looking at our dusty wedding photo in the living room said, "When you and Daddy married you were all dusty, right?"
March 28, 1960 Ricky and TJ both like girls and were wondering what to say to the boys who disliked girls. TJ told David Lucas he liked girls and David said, "Oh, Tommy, I'm going to tell all the boys to call you "Lover Boy". (How ironic, because that is what Big Tom was called when he was growing up, so like father. . . like son!)
March 30, 1960 TJ said he's not going to be a daddy when he grows up but a grandpa like Grandpa McClintic.
August 5, 1960 TJ was talking about puppies drinking milk from the mama dog and I asked if he had ever seen a puppy nurse and he replied, "Do puppies have a nurse. . . where's the puppies nurse????"
August 6, 1960 TJ asked me if I knew why cars have rubber tires and I, of course, said I did not so he said, "Because they would cut the little hose that rings the bells at the gas stations if they didn't use rubber."
August 8, 1960 TJ asked if the loaf of bread we were eating at lunch was put-nut, put-nut bread. (Again, it pays to advertise on TV. . . he was referring to an ad "tut-tut, nothin' but Butternut bread.)
August 19, 1960 Tom and I were talking about having a short in the doorbell and TJ overheard and wanted to know what that meant so I explained that shorts sometimes cause fires and his eyes got very big and wide and he said, "Do jeans, too?"
August 30, 1960 TJ said he knows how he can get a pony now. After Joe Maher's pony has a baby he will ask Joe for the pony and give him $2.00 for it. Ricky said he'd get the next one and he'd pay Joe about all the money Grandpa has. He'd give Joe three nickels and five dimes.
October 18, 1960 Tommy asked me what "tsry" spells and I said nothing. He continued putting letters together and asking what they spelled and I always answered the same. . . that spells nothing. Finally, TJ said, "Gosh, there sure are a lot of ways to spell 'nothing', aren't there?" (Received $2.00 from The Capper's Weekly for this saying.)
October 20, 1960 TJ says "Pray for me" to both St. Thomas and St. Joseph daily and said that St Thomas is him! I asked why he thought that and he said, "Well, I'm a saint." I said, "Oh, no you aren't yet." And, TJ said, "But, I go to St. Mary's school and that means I am a St. Thomas."
December 12, 1960 TJ told Ricky he would have to be awfully smart in school or he would get pushed around like him. Sister would push him home and Dad would push him right back to school.
December 17, 1960 TJ said his mumps wouldn't hurt now, because he ate an aspirin on that side of his mouth. . .(left.)
December 18, 1960 TJ overheard us talking about the fear of his mumps dropping on him since he was more active than we thought he should be. He then said he was afraid his mumps might fall down and he would accidentally step on them.
December 28, 1960 TJ said some of the people he prays for go to "gurgatory." "What, I asked?" "Oh, you know, God's cleaners." (Submitted to the St Gerard Magazine.)
December 21, 1960 At the supper table TJ ordered absolute quiet and got it! Then he asked if we could hear the song of ""26 Men" playing in his head. He said it was so loud and playing over and over.
1 9 6 1
Jaunary 12, 1961 Tom told TJ he should go to Sister tomorrow and tell her "he" told a lie yesterday. . . TJ had a startled look on his face and said, "Did you tell me a lie yesterday, Dad?"
January 12, 1961 TJ said he just gets all nervous after telling a lie. His conscience is working, apparently. PTL.
January 23, 1961 TJ said, "We must pray for the president to make the right decisions because if he makes the wrong decisions we'll go right to war and boy, I am ready. . . just hand me a baseball bat and push them all my way and I will hit them all in the head."
Age 7
March 12, 1961 TJ said it takes boys a long time to figure out who they are going to marry but it sure doesn't take girls long. I wonder where in the world he ever got that idea!!!
March 13, 1961 TJ was working a crossword puzzle and had to write down "Skelton". I asked if that was Red Skelton and he said, "Red? I thought skeltons were white."
March 14, 1961 TJ was telling me he was sick of school because the air inside of him had sat down to rest.
March 26, 1961 TJ saw a picture of a cow and a new born calf and said, "Oh, look, that cow just laid a calf."
March 25, 1961 TJ was looking at some pictures of prehistoric equipment and I asked him what he would have done if God had put him down on earth all alone with no house, no food, no hammer, no nails, no saw nor machinery? He thought a bit and replied, "I'd buy em."
March 29,1961 TJ hates the show, The Price Is Right on TV, and came to me with his hands over his ears and said, "I wish we'd turn that off. . . I have given up The Price Is Right for lent this year."
April 23, 1961 I was explaining mortal sin to TJ. He said, "If I commit a mortal sin I will have to start all over in the first grade, right, Mom?"
May 22, 1961 TJ said he was going down to Grandma's and born him a chicken out of an egg. Figure that one out!
July 31, 1961 TJ said he first thought of the story he could tell everyone about Ricky falling off the tractor at Grandpa's. He said he about cried. I told him he should be wishing the accident had happened to him instead of to Ricky. TJ frowned and said, "I halfway wish it had happened to me and halfway wished it had happened to Ricky."
August 8, 1961 TJ was fretting because he had asked Grandpa a "hundred" times to buy him a pony. I explained that Grandpa didn't have that much money. TJ replied, "Well, it just costs a $100.00." I said that's more then he has. TJ said he thought all farmers are supposed to be rich!!!!!
November 17, 1961 TJ was talking about the movie, "Ben Hur" which we saw last summer and he said, "Ben Hur lived because he had hayfever in his eyes and hayfever makes you live a long time." I was stumped over that one until I remembered the captain of the ship saying "You have 'hate fever' in your eyes and that will keep you alive."
1 9 6 2
Age 8
March 19, 1962 TJ and Ricky wanted their allowance and Tom said he didn't have enough money to even buy himself lunch Tuesday. TJ said, "Don't you have any money at all?" Tom told him he had about $200.00 in the bank and TJ in amazement said, "Gosh, you're rich." Tom told him he owed several thousand and TJ quickly said, "Gosh, you're poor!"
May 10,1962 TJ asked me why is it I watch TV programs that they can all watch and Daddy watches ones they can't watch. Good question, TJ.
May 13,1962 TJ asked me why they can watch The Flintstones on TV because they don't always do things children should see. He was also questioning watching Felix The Cat.
May 24, 1962 On the day the second astronaut (Commander Carpenter) went around the world in the space craft, TJ asked me if they gave monkeys smart pills so they could guide the rocket around the world before men started riding in them.
September 26, 1962 TJ broke both bones in his right arm above the wrist.
December 2, 1962 The seven children, Tom and I drove down to the Kansas City Plaza to see the Christmas lights and took as our guest Brother Luke (Uncle Bud Becker's brother). We were trying to wind our way out of a huge traffic jam and went through two busy intersections against the signals of traffic cops whom we didn't see until we were even with them. After the second time we half expected to hear a whistle telling us to stop, however, none blew and we kept on going. Tom said, "Look back, kids, do you see the pretty lights"? TJ turned around, looked and answered, "Yeah, and a police car, too". That shook big Tom up no end!!! TJ was kidding, of course.
1 9 6 3
January 1, 1963 One very hectic day I kiddingly told the children that I was going to run away from home and told them this is just too much for me. "Me, too," chimed in TJ and Ricky and Billy and Debbie and Teri and Becky!" "Well, it looks like you will have plenty of company," said TJ. Suddently the idea lost its appeal!!! Ages 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, and 8.
January 19, 1963 The little ones were so fussy and noisy while I was trying to prepare supper that TJ finally asked me if I didn't wish I was Bugs Bunny with long ears so I could just fold them over and sick the ends in my ear holes so I could not hear all of the noise. Sounds good to me.
January 27, 1963 Ricky said something to TJ and TJ said, "Oh, Ricky, I was just looking at my mom and thinking I love her so much I could die for her instead of for Jesus".
Age 9
November 22, 1963 TJ and Bill brought their two best cars to Tom to keep to make him feel better while he is ill with a cold which he has had all week.
December 7, 1963 TJ was wondering if his Dad's lump in the throat could be cancerous and I said I did not know. TJ said, "If it is cancerous I hope they shoot Dad", then a long pause while we looked at TJ expectantly for more. TJ then added, "I wouldn't want him to suffer, you know".
1 9 6 4
January 14, 1964 TJ said he hoped Grandmother Dierkes lives to be 106 like she says she is now.
January 22, 1964 TJ and Becky were drinking water out of Tom's coffee cups and pretending it was coffee. Teri told Becky that it is caffeine free and full of flavor. More TV advertising!
January 26, 1964 TJ was trying to tell me about the sack you throw over your shoulders to carry picnic lunches in. I asked him if he meant "knapsack" and he said, "No, that's not what I meant". I listened carefully again when he repeated what he wanted and I asked again, "Knapsack"? TJ finally said in disgust, "Mom, it is too little to sleep in"!
Age 10
March 10, 1964 TJ said he daydreamed he couldn't go to school until next September because his brain needed a rest and the doctor ordered him to the country with more orders for someone to buy him a horse.
April 5, 1964 I was promising Tom I would be more strict with the children and TJ told me later he was kind of worried about me. He told me I wasn't used to being strict and would probably be mean until I learned how, but thought by the end of summer I would be used to being strict and be nice again.
1 9 6 7
Age 12
January 21, 1967 Tom was trying to explain married love to TJ. He asked TJ, "Just why do you think your mother waits on me hand and foot, babies me and spoils me?" TJ thought a minute and answered, "Did you ever stop and wonder if she maybe needs psychiatric help?"
1 9 7 0
Age 16
March 31, 1970 We were talking about Great Uncle Alfred and Grandma being in the same grade in school and the children were wondering 'how' that could be possible. I told them Grandma went to school during the day and when she got home she did what? (I was trying to get one of them to tell me Grandma had taught Uncle Alfred everything she had learned that day.) TJ said, "I know what she did. She picked up after him!" Sure can tell the children are used to picking up after John and Tim!
1 9 7 6
Age 22
December 27, 1976 TJ saw Rick's Greek Bible and asked him what kind it was and Rick told him Greek. TJ said, "Really, what language is it written in?"
1 9 9 9
July 5, 1999 Seeing some fireworks on the floor, I asked his Mom, "Did Clint get to shoot off some fireworks last night?"
Him Mom replies, "Yes, he went over to his Art Teacher's house, Mrs. Music.".
"Mrs. Music is the ART TEACHER?"
"That's what I said."
"Well, how come Mrs. Music doesn't teach Music?" (I was trying to be funny here)
"She can't because Mrs. FRENCH teaches Music?"
"There is a Mrs. French too?"
"As far as I know, there isn't any teacher named Mrs. ART".
2 0 0 3
Age 49
December 30, 2003 TJ: There aren't any cashews in this bowl of mixed nuts.
Barbara:   What? Really? I'm sure I saw some. Look again.
TJ:   No.   ...   I'm pretty sure I got them all.
2 0 0 7
Age 53
September 16, 2007 Baking Soda ToothepasteThe other night I was brushing my teeth and I thought, “This toothpaste is really bland. I must have Sweetie’s baking soda toothpaste. Gee, you would at least have thought they would add some mint or something.” Before I left the bathroom, as an afterthought, I opened the drawer back up to see what kind of toothpaste it was – being as I didn’t want to use it anymore. It said "Cortisone", as in "Anti-Itching".

I used a little bit of mouthwash after that. It was a little greasy.
September 18, 2007 A mis use of Toothepaste.I told our Small Group about the incident on Tuesday evening. I explained I was in the main bathroom (Sweetie’s) instead of the master bathroom (mine). While everyone was laughing, Sweetie turned on me and challenged "What were you doing in my drawers?".

"Looking for toothpaste!"
2 0 1 3
Age 59
August 25, 2013 Granddaughter, Ela, is 5
"Ela, can you help Grandpa."
"What Grandpa?"
"I have lost my energy and I do not remember where I left it. Can you help me find it?"
"Okay, let’s go look!".

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